Elementary School Dropouts

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Elementary School Dropouts was a ten-piece teen pop group who had a surprise hit in late 2004 with their first and only single release, "Bad At Math (2+2=5)".

Career background[edit | edit source]

Five girls and five guys between the ages of 10 and 12, ESD were a group of child musicians who dropped out of school because... well, they thought it sucked. After dropping out the boys and girls first met when they performed at a talent show, rounded up by a talent scout who got them signed on E&P Records, co-run by Emma Latham and Putanovska.

The group centered around blond heartthrob Messy McCartney, diva Devil Faithless, and the wigger of the bunch, Freaky McFreak. The other members (probably forgotten about by now) are Gurlie Gurl, Jade Gets-An-F, Cathy the Cheerleader, Erin Talksalot, Chris Mousedale, Greg Wimpo, and Mr. Class Clown.

With promo ploys such as a CD signing at Target on the day of the CD single's release, giving away free concert tickets if it debuts at #1, and the outspoken Erin Talksalot joining protests to get CeCe Winston out of jail, their debut single "Bad At Math (2 + 2 = 5)", a song about sucking at math and being proud of it, did better than everyone's expectations and debuted at #14, surprisingly beating songs by Shy, Melvin Be, and RedHotz.

The group elevated to high status when they were invited to Heaven's Halloween Party, where the group gave out free copies of their debut album, which featured songs such as "Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!" and "Still Single (I Want A Girlfriend)". It entered the charts at #19 the next week.

They got higher when Esmeralda Dimuzio let the group record one of her songs, "Try To Forgive Me", for the album. Though the group paid $5,000 to get the song, it was the perfect second single for the bunch.

Downfall[edit | edit source]

However, trouble was afoot when the guys and girls were helping manage and produce the debut album for hip-hop singer Corey, who turned out to be one of the biggest mongs on URAPS. To avoid criticism the Dropouts suddenly stopped helping Corey.

Even worse was Devil Faithless's appearance on BBC Radio 1's Official Chart Show, where she told then-host Wes Butters "While the guys sing a beautiful song about heartbreak, we're singing about how we're ditzy cheerleaders and dimwitted beauty queens." Joined by the other girls, they complained about "Try To Forgive Me" being recorded by just the boys along with collaborators (and fellow one hit wonders) 3 Wishes.

Then, Freaky McFreak got involved in a limo accident. The other four boys could not handle the pressure of the incidents involving Freaky and the girls, so the group split up and the release of "Try To Forgive Me" was canceled. While the Dropouts rejected a $600,000 deal from E&P to stay together, 3 Wishes recorded the collab on their own - and it flopped.

Where are they now?[edit | edit source]

Jade Gets-An-F and Freaky McFreak worked on solo careers, but both of them failed. Jade's debut single "Groove" was not well received and after one spin on Radio 1 it was banned; Freaky's reinterpretation of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" ended up getting canceled over poor promo where Freaky wasted his money on changing his skin color from white to black and getting the music video premiered during the Super Bowl.

In May 2005, the girls died as a result of being eaten alive by Fat Lady from It's Not Over Until the Fat Lady Sings. Before dying, Devil Faithless was rejected from the reality show Reborn in Urapopstar. Mr. Class Clown landed a stunt role on the Fox TV show "Arrested Development", Greg Wimpo and Chris Mousedale moved to Alaska, and Messy McCartney and Freaky McFreak started a group called Fadz, who never came together due to creative differences.

In October 2006, Freaky McFreak made a brief comeback when he offered songs to Destined Ladies and misled people into thinking he would be releasing a new single when he only said it just to piss everybody off.

Freaky returned in 2008 to compete in Uravision.

Elementary School Dropouts (album)[edit | edit source]

Elementary School Dropouts was the self-titled debut album from Elementary School Dropouts, debuting and peaking at #19.

Track listing:
1. Bad At Math (2 + 2 = 5)
2. I Dated The Teacher
3. Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!
4. Still Single (I Want A Girlfriend)
5. I'm A Big Kid Now
6. Late For Class
7. Look, I'm A Cheerleader!
8. Try To Forgive Me (feat. 3 Wishes)
9. Notes In Class
10. Don't Make Me Study
11. We're Not Going Back To School